Victoria Beth Roberts
On Wednesday, November 10, 1992, I was in the tenth grade and was attending Starkville High School. This particular day, my parents left for one of my dad’s computer conferences. It was three days before my sixteenth birthday. I was coming down with another one of my colds. As the day progressed, I felt worse and worse. That night I tried to sleep, but could not. I was coughing incessantly and was in such pain that no words could describe. I don’t think there was a part of my body that did not hurt. Eventually, I got out of bed and went to the living room. I remembered that, when I was younger and was sick, my mom would take me to the living room. She would put a movie on for me to watch so that I’d forget about how sick I felt. Remembering this, I decided to give it a try. I made it to the couch and curled up in my intense pain. My pain was so intense that I began to cry. As I cried I prayed begging God to take away the pain at least long enough so that I could sleep. I cannot remember the words I prayed. All I can remember was that by the time I finished praying, I was laughing through my tears. I cannot recall if the pain disappeared. All I can remember was that I was thanking God for His grace and mercy to me. I do remember saying something along the lines of, “Lord, You are so amazing. I started this prayer in tears and now I’m laughing. You are so amazing.” After that, I got up from the couch and went back to my room where I fell asleep.
Eleven years later, as I write this story out, two events occurred that resulted in my decision to write this. The first was the death of a dear friend of mine, Jean Taylor. I had basically known her my entire life. When I heard that she died, I cried. The sorrow was more than I could bear. This event, along with the event of eleven years ago, led to the writing of the song “How Can I.” This song tells, in brief, both of those stories. The second event I am currently going through. On April 28, 2003, I came down with yet another one of my typical colds. It is now May 13 and I’m still suffering. I feel worse now then I did eleven years ago. It is not because of pain, though, but because of the coughing which is keeping me from sleep. On May 12, at about four in the morning, I was not getting any sleep so I decided to try working on a song I had not completed. This song is called “Totally Dependant On God.” Is this true for me? Absolutely! I had some ideas of what I wanted to write, but could not find the right words. So I stopped and prayed. “Lord, I am feeling miserable, but I don’t want You to take it from me because I know it will help on this song. I know what I want to say, but I need You to give me the words I need. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.” It was a few minutes before the words came, but they did. After I finished the song, I read it smiling and thinking, “How true is this?” When I finished reading it, I prayed again. “Lord, thank You for this song. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.” It is now about five in the morning of May 13, 2003 and I am again finding it difficult to sleep. I decided to go ahead and write this now rather than wait until later in the day. As I read back over this story, I can’t help but cry. These are good tears, though. God is so amazing and I can’t understand why He would love me. He does, though. To this I testify.
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